Finding is an Illusion

 Nanne Nyander - Poems and Paintings

Emptiness is screaming loudly in a silent voice,

- I’m here, stop looking,

no looking will lead to finding.

I’m still.

Still trying not to look for what I am.

- You can’t try not to look.

Do or do not, there is no try.

Finding is an illusion,

floating around as bait in a future that does not exist. 

Luring me to carry on looking for the non-existing me.

-Nanne Nyander " The Silence of Awareness"

Before Everything

 Nanne Nyander - Poems and Paintings

"Robin" by Nanne Nyander

I’m moving around in empty space,

and so is everything else. 

Sometimes I bump into a sound or a thought, 

we connect and let go at the same time. 

Sounds appearing and disappearing.

Self is appearing and disappearing. 

Nothing is leaving any trace. 

Thoughts are appearing and disappearing. 

Nothing is leaving nothing behind. 

Everything is fleeting,

like waves.

Everything is moving like waves, 

appear, disappear,

appear, disappear.

And here I am,

appearing and disappearing.

But before everything,

I am.

-Nanne Nyander "The Silence of Awareness"

Lonely

 Nanne Nyander - Poems and Paintings

Does a fish feel lonely?
Does it know that it’s part of a great ocean? 

Does the ocean know
that it’s a part of Mother Earth,
or does it feel apart from everything, 

believing it’s on its own,
moving around, separate from everything else? 

Does Mother Earth think?
What would its thoughts look like?
I’m a tiny, lonely planet in this vast universe,
I’m lost, please help me to find me.
Or is it content with just being?
Is the universe separate from me?
From out there I’m nothing,
I’m not even visible,
just a speck of dust that no one sees.
I am no one.
I can see you.
To me, you are special,
to me, you are not just a speck of dust,
to me, you are everything,
to me, you are me. 

-Nanne Nyander "The Silence of Awareness"

The Ocean

 Nanne Nyander - Poems and Paintings

I’m an octopus,

I use my tentacles to sense if everything is ok.

I ramble,

I use words to change the energy between us,

I use words to see if everything is fine.

Is it safe?

I think I can alter the sticky energy you send out, 

by talking,

by saying words,

words that almost make sense.

I ramble,

I talk too fast.

Why?

I thought I was the quiet one.

Words I use to calm the energy around me,

so that I can be at peace.

I’m a bat,

I use sounds to navigate,

is everything ok?

How do you feel?

Are you angry?

Have I done something wrong?

Hardly anyone tells the truth,

so I don’t ask,

because then I have to decipher what the words 

coming out of your mouth really mean. 

When my sounds bounce back,

I can feel if I have managed to smooth the energy, 

smooth it so that I can be at peace,

so that I can be calm.

I feel what everyone is feeling.

I’m a wave in a big ocean.

When the wave close to me gets muddy,

I can feel it.

After all,

we are all the same ocean.

-Nanne Nyander "The Silence of Awareness"

The River of Life

 Nanne Nyander - Poems and Paintings

Sea of thoughts,

sea of emotions,

ocean of self.

Don’t drown yourself in the sea of oblivion. 

Stay with me,

stay silent,

I’m the river of life.

-Nanne Nyander "The Struggle of Going Nowhere"

Nothing is Holding Together

 Nanne Nyander - Poems and Paintings

Thoughts moving around in space,

who do they belong to?

Some of them used to be mine,

at least that’s what I thought,

they don’t stay long enough for me to claim them.

One minute they are here, 

the next they’re gone. 

-Nanne Nyander "The Way Back Home"

What am I?


Nothing is holding together anymore. 

Or is nothing holding everything together? 

Am I nothing? 

-Nanne Nyander "The Way Back Home"

The Fire in my Heart

 Nanne Nyander - Poems and Paintings

War in the mind of the one that is broken, 

broken into tiny pieces.

With the fire in my heart,

I will melt it all together,

and once again, 

we will be one,

one whole,

one.

-Nanne Nyander " The Way Back Home"

-Photo by Nanne Nyander

The Storyteller

 Nanne Nyander - Poems and Paintings

If I leave everything alone,

will I wake up?

I need to leave that one alone too,

the one who’s leaving everything alone, 

the one who thinks she’s going to wake up. 

How to do that?

It’s all thought, that one does not even exist, 

she’s just a thought.

A very persistent thought.

A thought that has wrapped itself around me, 

suffocating me.

But it’s all a thought.

I’m here,

nothing is suffocating anything.

The storyteller is seen through,

it’s an imposter,

making me believe it’s me.

Me does not exist.

It’s a fascinating story,

hard to let go of,

but it’s still a story,

and so is the one trying to let go.

I can see it, I can feel it.

Why is this not enough?

Why is the illusion still so persistent?

Will I ever wake up?

And, yes,

that one is a thought too.

-Nanne  Nyander "The Silence of Awareness"

Heaven is Near

 Nanne Nyander - Poems and Paintings

-Photo by Nanne Nyander

Heaven is near, fear no more,

heaven is here, be no more,

lost in thoughts about a better world.

A better world than what’s lurking

in the mind of the seeker.

Heaven is always here,

inside and outside as this nothingness 

we all belong to, we all is.

Nothing is heaven and heaven is nothing

and everything.

Hell is the entrapment of mind,

entangled in thoughts about a better world, 

thoughts about heaven.

Heaven is here.

I’m here,

and so are you,

my beloved angel.

-Nanne Nyander "The Silence of Awareness"

The Dragon

 Nanne Nyander - Poems and Paintings

-Photo by Nanne Nyander

Far, far away, in an empty castle,
a dragon has been slumbering quietly
for many long years.
Then suddenly something slowly woke it up. 

Now it’s consuming everything I have built up, 

my sandcastle has turned into ruins.
It keeps destroying everything I thought was me. 

Till I suddenly one day realise,
I am the dragon. 

-Nanne Nyander 

from the book "The Silence of Awareness"